There is one art women have mastered. The art of farting aka launching ass rockets. The thing is, they do it so discreetly that most men never EVER hear them fart. And when they do it in a crowd and you are the only guy, EVERYONE assumes its you. Even in a matatu, if you are sitted next to gorgeous women and one lets a mobile sewer loose, you still get the blame. And it happened to me jana hence the reason am writing this.
Am sure most people date women for months before they hear them fart. Guys also have a misconception that beautiful girls dont fart. Am not sure whether they assume they were created with a fart-incenerator that burns all the gas and releases it in the form of sexy smiles!
Men on the other hand are fart machines. They have mastered the art of letting go of LOUD and PROUD flame throwers and laugh at it while blaming the other boys. Sometimes they release what is called the Singing Elephant. This is when they wait for the room to go dead quieeet and then let off a grim-reaper so loud that the entire room bursts into laughter that sounds like a heard of trumpeting elephants!
Anyway, back to the main topic. It is a biological fact that an average person will produce around half a litre of fart gas per day, which roughly translates as 14 farts a day. The beauty about biology is it does not care how beautiful you are. If its fourteen farts, its fourteen farts. Does not matter whether you are Semenya or Miss universe. And thats a fact.
But women....? Women yell and complain non-stop about how bad guys fart. Then they act like they fart sunshine, lollipops and cute little kittens ... yet chances are high that the farts smell like old men. I got news for ladies today. I know you will want to claw me, kill me or skin me alive but .... until your farts start smelling like cinnamon buns, either fart loud and deny it instead of releasing silent criminals then watching men and dogs get the blame. Or don't fart at all. Or even better, leave the farting to men. At least we know how to get the job done.
PARTING SHOT ... aka ... FARTING SHOT: When you breath outside in the cold you can see your breathe so, does the same apply when you fart outside in the cold?
